That’s the name of the two new members that recently joined our family - lovely adorable dwarf hamsters 
(My mum named them after the two famous panda in Taiwan)
‘Tuan Yuan’ is a Chinese phrase for Harmony!
They were given by my Aunt Lucia after a few weeks old.
My, what joy they bring to us!
Its amazing seeing the little ones scrambling up and down their new house and nimbling anything they can find. Tuan Tuan, the active male, loves to run around, whereas Yuan Yuan, the docile female, likes to stay at one corner to eat and sleep.
I can spend hours playing with them without being tired of them.
Hehe, still the happiest of us all is my sister - she has been wanting hamsters for a long long time! So this is her early birthday present 
December 23rd, 2008
Thanks to all who send me your well wishes for my birthday on Tuesday!
How I’d spend this special day you may ask — the sad truth is — I’d a rather difficult time 
On Sunday night, I ate something wrong (probably due to overeating of hot and cold dessert) and had a really really bad tummyache which caused me to vomit and go toilet every hour or so.*sigh*
After I went to see a doc on Monday, my condition only got better on Tuesday (birthday) night, so I happily (innocently!) ate small chunks of my birthday cake ~tiramisu and a mini strawberry shortcake~
This resulted in a queasy stomach the day after (Wed) so I’d to stay at home the whole day too. Walking around with an uncomfortable stomach can be quite painful and I’ve no energy at all.
And it’s only this morning that I think I feel my stomach’s back to its usual self (though I’d yet consumed a full solid meal)
I hope I can eat normally by tomorrow as I need to get back to work!
ahhh…work again 
hmmm…my birthday wish: it’s a simple secret
Actually I really hope that yr 2009 will be a breeze (of course there are already ’signs’ that it most likely wont be)
…I’m looking forward to year 2010. It’s the year that I’m surviving for lol!
There are many important changes/decision that I’ll have to make and my whole future is banking on year 2010
yeah…still…a very very long way to go…
December 18th, 2008
Oh God, hear my cries…
*crying tears of relief* 
After months of insufferable silence because of that sickening hosting website - Frozenmidnighthosting (damn I paid for it too!), I’m forever grateful to XiaoYun for her help in ressurrecting my precious sanctuary. *hugs!*
Apart from sharing bits and pieces of my life, this is my personal space where I can log in to unload whatever that’s distracting me so that I can get on my life with a clearer mind.
*crying tears of sorrow* 
2008 (21/11) is a date I will find it terribly hard to forget due to the recent departure of my dearest grandfather. His sudden death was shocking to everyone one of us cos weeks before he seemed so much healthy and well but the next instant he was gone (heart attack)…
What makes it even more choking for me was the 15 minutes lateness to bade the last goodbye…
Now this was a huge blow to my grandma and she is warded in hospital. I make an effort to visit her every day as I’m one of the few who’s free during this period.
I really pray that she will recover soon…
We miss you lots grandpa! May you enter the gates of heaven to live in God’s eternal blessing!
*crying tears of uncertainty*
I havnt had this anxiety for quite some time.
It is a dreadful feeling waiting for the results of my piano diploma - recital exam. The results are likely to be out earliest end of this dec…and there’s nothing more that I desire for at this moment to PASS this second try of mine. At times, I’ll have the nightmare torture of receiving a failure grade and the entire scene will repeatedly flash now and then.
Please let me go through this ordeal smoothly…
*crying tears of pity*
On retrospect, I chide myself for being silly?
A wave of excruciating pity came over me upon hearing the very unfortunate plight of a mere stranger at church and without hesitation I donated few hundred over…
It is a bittersweet sensation; a mix of loss and injustice for her as well as for me - the nice idea of doing something meaningful this xmas plus doubts on my financial state surviving on a few dollars (thankfully I’m in no need of cash now 
)
*crying tears of frustration*
I wish I can do better!
That’s usually what I’m thinking for my career.
Still, reality is never kind enough to wait for me to improve; there will always be some who maybe artfully masking their disapproval/disregard infront of me while on the other hand, showing obvious contempt of me to those appraising my work performance.
Sometimes I cannot fathom why I am to realise this hideous side of human nature.
I can gasp in awe and gratefulness to God for granting me the strength to endure, that I’m actually halfway there!
Next year is full of changes for me; awfully brimming with challenges that could falter me.
And ‘I’ will continue to ask fervently:
Angel - “Why would you collapse?”
Devil - “When will you collapse?”
*cries of fear*
I’m bearing this unspeakable fear of a lip problem that has plagued me for a year or so.
I cant ‘live’ a day without moisturizing my lip for fear of serious skin peeling that may worsen into deep crevices which bleed.
The first few months was so agonizing that I simply fear talking- the act of opening my mouth wide could cause the sides of it to crack.
I dont dare to eat spicy and hot stuffs as that may aggravate the condition such that my mouth will swell.
It’s utter embarrassement - this physical terror; akin to hell on earth for me. 
I’ve been to skin specialists, seen a number of doctors and all their medicines proved to alleviate my condition only for limited time.
It is only recently, after months of ‘trial and error’, that I’m narrowing down the possibilities of my condition to aquired allergy. I’m refraining from consumption of seafood, super spicy stuffs and very deep-fried oily food. In addition, my diet consists of a variety of vitamins and herbal pills to boost my immune system.
I cant say I’m totally cured for now…the applying of lip moisturizer is a must…I could wake up on certain days and find my mouth with tinge of red swollen lips or minor skin peeling…
At least I dont have to think twice when talking (thank God!)…when people tell jokes, I can Laugh out Loud - literally of course 
*cries of joy*
Nothing beats having loved ones around you showering you with unconditional love!
I reckon with all my deepest cries from my heart…whether or not they reach to God in heaven, my answer can be found in the love around me.
Thank you all who have left your footprints in my life.
Have you ever felt this way? - Sometimes I’m so happy in our embrace that it seem to be a sin to be feeling truly blissful. And if this warrants a divine punishment, I’ll willingly accept it. Because it is worth it.
December 8th, 2008
Today is the 2nd last day of my break. I wished God would have given me a longer hols (I believe many of us will agree!)
Decide to type in this entrytonight; as I cant do it daily, weekly, at least make the effort of updating Monthly — because what struck me deeply recently is this ‘revelation’ of Life as a ‘process’ to live through.
I guess for the past few months ever since I’m in this career, I have been waiting fervently for the End. I never ever breathe normally every single second and ‘live’ the every bits of this life. All my attention is fixated on the ‘outcome’, I simply desire to get out and nothing else matters. Just do my bare minimum and forget about everything in the past.
The result of this mindset is as you’ve known, excruciatingly dreadful .
Everything building up to the End will be a phantom past. My whole life of 3 yrs would have been considered wasted if I never care to leave footprints in my memory.
Will I gain any valuable experience by then? Even if I did, to me it will have been pure blank (cos I wasnt bothered to keep track of my growth)
Despite how difficult, how bleak and gloomy it will be, I should try to remember the pieces of these years. Joining the fragments of sadness and happiness, it will reflect my growth as an individual. This will also serve as the sharpening of me to become a useful tool for God’s will.
I must learn to live through this process. I must learn to remind myself that every day is a time of learning. Irregardless of the outcome, the process of going through is more important.
Maybe cos I’m so focused on being an achiever such that the final outcome of being successful takes precedence; The process is merely a byproduct for my future.
Failure still remains a bitter reality that requires a lengthy period for recovery of my self-confidence.
So now, apart from ‘appreciating the unappreciated things’, I’m learning to fully understand that I’m Actually breathing in every stage of this process (of life).
[I still yearn for the end of the bond, however, this time round, I will grind my teeth and ‘live’ every moments of this process.]
Many a times, I hate myself. For choosing the wrong pathway. For either thinking too much or procrastinating/dont bother at all. For committing mistakes that I’m aware they are Mistakes.
Yet God is forever merciful; my beautiful human angels exist to support me when I fail.
I’m not perfect hence the love of which I give unto others cannot be perfect either.
I’ll try…the process of loving has to be undergone with as many challenges as with the other aspects of life…
Therefore, please bear with me - do hold my hands tightly as I walk and pick me up gently when I fall.
If we do it together, I’m sure in this painful Life as a process, it will be better
March 15th, 2008
Haha…so long, I’m starting to miss this webby.
Finally typing this new entry in the new year in my new house
Everything is good here in Yishun. The food is yummy. Save for the ‘morning alarm clock’ by the terrifying screams of birds every 4 or 5am. Can you understand why I’m getting more headaches and eyerings?
Just the other day, a little kid called me AUNTIE;I’m no more on the ‘jiejie’ category!!! *sobs* oh nooo!!!!
Changes and more changes! My life is indeed a no-life.
I wish 2008 goes fast, really fast…i want 2010 to come NOW
Just realised the irony of it all, I’m like a student, doing work at home — still cant escape the fate of doing homework during weekends*sigh*
I miss my dear friends!!!
I miss the life of being a student! Can anyone exchange his/her life with mine?
I honestly dont mind doing the homework of a student than this Home-work of mine!
if there’s anything I’ve learnt last year, it is to “appreciate the unappreciated things in life…”
~my motto of this year: Do the bare minimum of my best and hope in God to take care of the rest!
February 24th, 2008
